HomeHomeSeptember 2001Greetings from the Upper Midwest, where the long and lazy days of summer are gradually coming to an end. There are subtle and not-so-subtle signs that fall is on the horizon---students are returning to school, the leaves are just beginning to change their colors, and cooler nights have finally arrived. The changing seasons are not unlike the cycles of one's life. They are a reminder of new beginnings, natural endings, where beauty can be found in each new transition, if we are willing to look for it.
But is there anything really beautiful about getting older? Recently, the Sydney Morning Herald ran a story about Mick Jagger, that perennial bad boy of Rock-n-Roll, who inadvertently and through no fault of his own, wound up on the cover of a "British seniors' magazine." He was allegedly livid. What a blow to his reputation! Never mind the fact that he IS over 50 now, and well, COULD potentially qualify for an AARP discount at many restaurants. One can't blame him, really. For a celebrity known for youthful rebellion and being associated with coming of age in the 1960's--an era when it was generally believed that young people could change the world, it is a stark reminder that time is moving on...and rather quickly at that.
Aging is a deeply personal issue to each and every one of us---that is, our OWN individual aging process. We may compare how we look to our celebrity contemporaries, but we really sit up and take notice only if they seem naturally ageless. What are their secrets, we wonder? At twenty, we really have no idea how we will look at forty, sixty or eighty, or how we will feel. It's not just an issue related to losing our youthful looks and vanity, it's about how we will "hold up" over time--and whether or not we will gracefully make the transition from one season of our lives to another.
For millions of women of the Baby Boom generation, this is a "critical season"----at least 40 million American women will go through perimenopause and menopause over the next few years. Menopause is defined as "the period marked by the natural and permanent cessation of menstruation" -- essentially, the end of a woman's child-bearing years. Of course, perimenopause is the period leading up to menopause.
For both women and men, there are a lot of misconceptions about menopause and the physical symptoms associated with "the change," such as mood swings, irritability, depression, insomnia, night sweats, hot flashes, forgetfulness, and anxiety. The onset of these symptoms can come as a shock to many women in their late thirties through mid-forties when they suddenly realize what is happening to them. And it is critical to gather information about what to expect during this time. This is a turning point which affects all aspects of a woman’s life--her physical, mental, and emotional health, and it is important to pay attention and learn how to negotiate this passage. It can be as confusing and frustrating as puberty was.
Ten years ago, author Gail Sheehy was one of the first to listen to women's stories and to write about this delicate subject. In her groundbreaking book, The Silent Passage: Menopause (Random House, New York, 1991) she writes:
"Shame, fear, misinformation--and, most of all, the stigma of aging in a youth-obsessed society--are the vague demons that have kept us silent about a passage that could not be more universal among females. The most common fears are: I'll lose my looks, I'll lose my sex appeal, I'll get depressed, fade into the woodwork, I'll become invisible. We don't have to lose any of these things. Yet all of the obvious sources of information and comfort--mothers, doctors, the media, academics--have shied away from the subject. It's as though there has been a conspiracy of silence. No one wants us to find out how much power we have. All that is about to change."Along with the physical changes, there are psychological changes as well. Christiane Northrup, M.D., writes about these issues in The Wisdom of Menopause: Creating Physical and Emotional Health and Healing During the Change (Bantam Books, New York, 2001):
"For most women, identity and self-esteem are generated by our associations and relationships. This is true even for women who hold high-powered jobs and for women who have chosen not to marry. Men, by contrast, get most of their identity and self-esteem from the outer world--the job, the income, the accomplishments, the accolades. For both genders, this pattern may change at midlife.Women often begin to direct more of their energies toward the world outside of home and family, which may suddenly appear as a great, inviting, untapped resource for exploration, creative expression, and self-esteem. Meanwhile, men of the same age--who may be undergoing a sort of menopause of their own--are often feeling world-weary; they're ready to retire, curl up, and escape the battles of the workplace. They may feel their priorties shifting inward, toward home, hearth, and family.
It's an ironic transposition: The man is beginning to look to relations for his 'juice'; the woman is feeling biologically primed to explore the outer world."
For women, the journey through menopause can offer chances for many new beginnings, as well as a new outlook on life. Menopause must not be viewed as a disease or the loss of possibilities. As with other experiences, it can offer opportunities for personal growth and an increased awareness of the finite time we all have--and that’s not a bad thing. With our orientation toward life turning outward as opposed to being focused on our youthful concern with our own appearance, we can find beauty in this new chapter of life. Wisdom gained from our life experiences can give us the confidence to take our hard-won knowledge, gifts and talents, and make this world a better place.
We’ll see you back here next month.
Teresa
RESOURCES:
The people at Power-surge.com offer a wealth of information and "a warm and caring community for women in menopause."
Planned Parenthood offers a lot of helpful information about the challenges involved in perimenopause and menopause.
The U.S. Food and Drug Administration's FDA Consumer magazine offered a helpful 1997 article about menopause by Sheryl Weinstein entitled, "New Attitudes about Menopause."
The National Institutes of Health Medline Plus offers interesting nformation and news as well.
The North American Menopause Society is "devoted to promoting women's health during midlife and beyond through understanding of menopause. This site includes information on perimenopause, early menopause, menopause symptoms and long-term health effects of estrogen loss, and a wide variety of therapies to enhance health."
Naturally, North American women aren't the only ones facing "the change"--there are millions of women around the globe who are going through their own transitions. For example, the Australasian Menopause Society claims that menopausal and post-menopausal women constitute at least 40% of all health care visits in Australia. Their mission is "to improve the quality of life of women during and after the menopause."
For those who seek information about alternative approaches to estrogen-replacement therapy, these books may be helpful:
Menopause, A Gentle, Natural Approach, by Edna Copeland Ryneveld (Lewellyn Publications, St. Paul, MN 1998)Traditional Chinese Medicine: A Woman's Guide to a Trouble-Free Menopause by Nan Lu, with Ellen Schaplowsky (Harper Collins Publishers, NY 2000)
Other Interesting Items:
Rosie O'Donnell has tried to break the silence about another "taboo" subject in American society - depression. She writes eloquently about her life-long battle with depression in the September issue of her magazine. In addition, others who have struggled with it and survived such as comedian Margaret Cho, and singer Rosemary Clooney, tell their stories. There are many helpful resources listed in Rosie's Causes.
In the September issue of Mode magazine, Janet Reitman writes about the "last acceptable discrimination" in the U.S. today--weight discrimination, and how it affects women in the workplace.
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